Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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