My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
