eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
