they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
my liver is dry heaving
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
