it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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