Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
