is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
