Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
