Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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