He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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