I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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