I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
