found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
