O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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