this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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