this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
