I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
