i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
