i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
