True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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