And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
