there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
