evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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