Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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