I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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