We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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