Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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