i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
