Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
