there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize