Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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