Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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