There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
