Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
no, he came in my armpit
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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