Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
