for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
