broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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