Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
