During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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