TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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