do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
