I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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