I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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