Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
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there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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