DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
