also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize