last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
