He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
