I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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