the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she looked like the before picture.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
