We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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