but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
