I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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