I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
