I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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